Watching the wakes.

No, not at Failla's Funeral Home. I'm talking about those of the marine variety.

Out today for the late-afternoon stroll along the waterfront, and I feel like the river is breathing. It's heaving and ebbing and gulls are having trouble diving for fish. The waves are so huge they are surfable. Not kidding. Wish I could surf. This will happen this summer. No excuses this time.

I'm wondering why there is so much action out there. Boats, big and small, speeding up and down through the channel, big wakes, lots of spray. I let my mind wander. Thinking of a magic night that already seems far away. And then I'm wondering if I can get a job on a boat for 50K a year. Probably not. But it would be pretty cool. Love boats.

I'm watching these boats, commuter ferries, small private craft, larger yachts. It's odd. It's a Wednesday, nothing special.

Then I get home. The news. Tom Cruise. In town. On his "Cruise" ship. Channel 4 news has a graphic of a little boat, blinking its way up the Hudson River on a dotted line. The Weather guy, who was doubling as the Cruise Patrol, was pointing out TC's trajectory and alerting all craft to be aware of the incredulous amount of security boats surrounding the Cruise Ship. "Keep Your Distance."

WTF?!?!?! I'm reminded of other less ridiculous public appearances, and I say less ridiculous only because such measures of security were actually warranted. Think "Popemobile."

So, when that British reporter shot Tom Cruise in the face with a fake microphone/squirt gun... did TC actually think this was an attempt on his life? So now he can't be pedestrian enough travel the streets of NYC like every other freaking celebrity (not to mention all the world leaders)?

This guy. He is going down. Guess that down-low life he's leading is finally cracking him.