Like 30.

Ok, so going back to school has been a trip. There is some show I saw an ad for recently. "College Ladies" maybe? I forget the name, but I remember the word "Ladies" or "Girls" or something being in it. The premise, so it seems, is that a couple of ladies find their husbands in compromising situations and decide to leave them and get their own lives together, sans husbands. I'm sure the American Family Association will have a field day with this one. So these ladies, I'm assuming they are in need of such higher education, go back to college. Dorm and everything. Of course I couldn't help but identify with this situation, me being a lady myself. Not the dorm part of course. But the rest of it. My social experience at school has been limited to older students like me. There aren't many of us, but we find each other and cling like honey. I mean, how many looong discussions about the existence of "God" can you have? Really. And the age difference really IS an issue. I was talking to this one guy about how I *finally* saw "Quadrophenia" recently, and he was like, "Quadra--huh?" I nearly fell off my chair. I really don't mean this as snobbery.. I don't. But what the hell? I suppose Power Rangers would have been more germane to our discussion of socially representational films. Anyway, I think that was the first honest moment I had where I thought to myself, "jeepers, I am so much older than these kids!"

Because I am older, I tend to compensate by acting totally immature. This suits me just fine, since acting immature is way more fun anyhow. I figure that if I LOOK a certain age(L), but ACT a certain other age(A), my perceived age(P) will fall somewhere in between. This can be represented by the formula: (L+A)/2<=P. Using this formula, my perceived age is still in my 20's, which is great. So because my (L) and (A) ages are so polarized, many people do muster the gumption to ask my real age.

The last time I was honest about the answer was last year. The shocked response threw me a little. I mean, I've had some surprised responses before.. which WERE nice.. like, thanks man. My skin care regiment IS very complicated and I work hard at it. (Ignoring all the late nights out and drinking and not enough sleep and all that.) But thanks for noticing!

Now, it's just a huge pain in the ass to sit there and smile, while thinking, I am SO much f-ing older than you. And yes it sucks. And yes I'm in school. And yes it's harder to pull all-nighters. And yes yes yes. But thank you still.

So to avoid this, I have now recently adopted the vague approach. I don't want to completely LIE. I'll probably tap that keg in about ten years. So today, I got the question. I replied the rehearsed answer, "Like, 30." The gal who asked, a gem like me, asked. "30? Or 'Like, 30'?" HA. I love this girl. Of course, I replied "Like, 30." Turns out, she is "like, 30" too. Sweet honey.